Awkward Conversations With Animals I've F****d

Awkward Conversations With Animals I've F****d

Book Tickets

Monday 13th November – 7.30pm

Tuesday 14th November – 7.30pm

Wednesday 15th November – 7.30pm

Monday 20th November – 7.30pm

Tuesday 21st November – 7.30pm

Wednesday 22nd November – 7.30pm

Monday 27th November – 7.30pm

Tuesday 28th November – 7.30pm

Wednesday 29th November – 7.30pm

One-night stands are awkward. One-night stands with animals are more awkward. And when you’re as desperate to please as Bobby, things get awkward as f*ck. He’s just a guy with too much love to give, and a burning desire to give it to consensual adult mammals


Performed by Linus Karp
Written by Rob Hayes
Directed by Maddie Rice
Produced by Joseph Paterson
Set Design by Amanda Ljunggren

Photo credits:

Linus – Michael Shelford
Maddie – Matt Nalton
Joseph – Dave Bird
Amanda – Michelle Marshall

Linus Karp

Linus Karp – Actor

Linus is an actor currently writing in third person. Just like Queen Elizabeth II, he’s based in London but also works in his native Sweden (wow, ABBA and IKEA). He’s been in loads of cool stuff, his work include credits for Sony Pictures (omg!), Google (why not google him?), MS Society (a charity – he must have a heart of gold!), Svenska Spel (If you were Swedish you’d understand), Balenciaga (nbd – just the coolest French fashion house ever), Wilkinson Sword (but he looks too young to need to shave!) and Rowntrees (such a SWEETIE).

As an actor he’s represented by Simon & How (just like all the superstars) and as a model by Tomorrow is Another Day (Just like Naomi Campbell would be if she was an awkward Swedish boy). He’s also a comedy improviser with Geraldyne (what – talented AND funny!?) and has professional credits as a director (as has Steven Spielberg), presenter (Like Dermot on X-factor but not at all) and voice over artist (for when you don’t want to see him). He also loves theatre and eating desserts. Wow, what a guy.


Rob Hayes

Rob Hayes – Writer

Rob has built a reputation on writing darkly comedic plays, including THE DIABOLIC BANQUET (Contact Theatre, Manchester), A BUTCHER OF DISTINCTION (King’s Head Theatre, London), STEP 9 [OF 12] (Trafalgar Studios, London), and the recent critically-acclaimed hit, THIS WILL END BADLY (Pleasance, Edinburgh/Southwark Playhouse, London). His play AWKWARD CONVERSATIONS WITH ANIMALS I’VE FUCKED premiered at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 2014.

As a screenwriter, Rob recently sold an original half-hour pitch to FX in the US, and Escape Artists are now attached to produce. Rob acted as script consultant on series two of the E4 show CHEWING GUM, and has half- hour comedy script commissions with ITV2/Retort, Objective Television, and Guilty Party Pictures.

His short film NEW GODS was selected for New York Film Festival 2016 and Leeds International Film Festival 2016.

Rob won the Tom Erhardt Award in 2013 for Most Promising Playwright, and was shortlisted for the BAFTA Rocliffe New Writing Forum and the Royal Exchange Theatre Hodgkiss Award with director Ned Bennett. Rob is an alumnus of the Royal Court Writers’ Studio Group and the Super Group, and was also a member of the Soho Theatre Writers’ Hub.


Maddie Rice

Maddie Rice – Director

Maddie is an actor and writer. As an actor she has recently performed in Fleabag (SOHO), I live with Models (Comedy Central), Villain (Kings Head), All My Sons (Regents Park), Henry V (West End) and Call The Midwife (BBC). As a writer she works with her comedy groups zazU and Lead Pencil, writes sketches for News Revue and is on the SOHO Theatre writers scheme.
This is Maddie’s directing debut. She’s a big fan of Linus Karp after meeting him through improv!


Acting: Hatton McEwan Penford.
Writing: Stephanie Moore – United Agents.

Joseph Paterson

Joseph Paterson – Producer

Joseph is an actor (as Joseph Martin) and a presenter with credits including the BBC and Warner Bros. – ooh, fancy. He’s also a big fan of a black turtle neck jumper because he’s ‘arty’. Last year Joseph was nominated for a ‘Break A Leg Best Actor’ award for his performance in ‘Middle Aged Rent’ at The Hope Theatre. He has also worked as an Assistant Producer on BBC Radio 2, where the famous people talk and play the music. After a few awkward conversations with Linus, Joseph is proud to be Producer of this play.


Amanda Ljunggren

Amanda Ljunggren – Set Designer

Amanda is a designer and model from Sweden.
She comes from a background of painting and visual merchandising and her recent work involves prop making for set designers including Shona Heath, Andy Hillman and Amy Friend for clients such as Pirelli, Tkmaxx and Lee Jeans.
Although set building and prop making is her passion, she’s also naturally moody looking which has landed her model work for Ally Capellino, CR Fashion book, Cedric Charlier and most recently Vogue Italia

★★★★★ – Everything Theatre

“A bizarre yet wonderful performance.”

★★★★ – Spy In The Stalls

“Linus Karp’s funny and touching performance of Rob Hayes’ striking extended monologue is one of the most satisfying theatrical evenings currently on offer.”

★★★★ – LondonTheatre1

“Why did you make it so good that instead of being disgusted, I was enthralled with the show?

★★★★ – ActDrop

“Plenty of laughs are combined with a fascinating and sensitive performance by Linus Karp”

★★★★ – Jack the Lad

“Plenty of surprising laugh out loud moments”